12345 French Fry Road
Gary, IN 54321
123-123-1234
info@burgplan.com
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
More Than Just Burgers and Fries
Burger Planet is adding additional options to its traditional menu
Gary, IN- Salads, fruit and lettuce wraps are a few of the changes Burger Planet is adding to its menu. Despite the fears loyal customers may worry about, Burger Planet will continue to cater to their existing market. “I want our customers to realize that Burger Planet is committed to offering healthy choices on its menu,” CEO James E. Muellenbach III said.
Burger Planet has recently hired popular fitness expert Jayne Petersen to promote their new healthy line. Petersen is known for her recent success with Opal Whitcomb. Petersen stresses the importance of moderation, fruits, vegetables and walking, all of which Burger Planet agrees with.
Petersen will be supervising Burger Planet chefs, and is in the process of developing tray liners that offer nutritional advice. Petersen will be accompanied by Burger Planet’s mascot Corny the Clown at various events throughout the nation promoting Burger Planets new healthy line of food. The pair will host a kick-off ceremony May 12 at the Burger Planet Franchise in Times Square. Commercials starring Petersen and Corny will start airing May 14. Corny will be visiting Burger Planets across the nation in June, and shopping malls across the nation in July.
Apart from the traditional favorites, Burger Planet will be offering white meat chicken breasts; gourmet Caesar, spinach and raspberry salads; and banana, pineapple, grape, apple and peach fruit packages- each less than 300 calories. All sandwiches may also be served without the bun, a good alternative for any Atkins or South Beach diet. “The company believes in encouraging customers to live healthier, active lifestyles.” Petersen said.
With this new health line, Burger Planet plans to inspire the nation to eat healthier and in moderation. “I emphasize a message of moderation.” Jayne Petersen says, “Women can have a burger and fries now and then as long as they are active and also try some of Burger Planet’s exciting new menu choices.”
Founded in 1934, Burger Planet has served 52 billion customers and counting. Burger Planet is the leader of the Quick Service Industry with 8,921 franchises in every state and 17 countries. For more information, contact: Maddy Jack 801-555-7536 mad.jack@aggiemail.usu.edu.
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Nice release. The content is great.
ReplyDeleteA few AP style fixes:
paragraphs shouldn't be indented. The quote in the fourth paragraph should end in a comma. Same thing for the moderation quote by Jayne Petersen. The location at the top should be in all caps.
The lead paragraph is a little long. Maybe make a new paragraph before "Despite". But the first sentence is great. Its interesting and makes the reader want to keep reading. Beefing up that sentence would be a great lead by itself.
Good job!
Jenna Jardine
I agree with Jenna. The only thing I would change is take out the comma in the first sentence of the third paragraph.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job!
Robyn Statum
For Immediate Release and the date should be at the top.
ReplyDeleteI like the hook headline. The sub-head doesn't mention that BP is introducing healthy food items, but I actually like that in this release because you let the lead and the reader decide whether they are healthier items. In fact, the CEO quote does this also. This quote should be a second paragraph.
Your second sentence needs to be recast, as it is assuming a fear that may not actually exist. it should also be moved to the third paragraph or so as it is supporting info, not part of the lead. This would leave you with only a one sentence lead, so i would add another sentence focusing on more specifics of the what and when.
A company it as "it" not a "they".
Your third to last and second to last paragraphs need to be higher up as it is in direct support of the lead.
Good boilerplate. Separate out the call to action and ending contact info to its own paragraph.